I Miss You Jean

Hi Jean,

I was so happy to have the opportunity to visit with you today and wanted to write to you with some of my thoughts. I didn't know what to expect when I came to the house and was sad to not see the Jean that I remembered the last time I saw you at our faculty meeting on Dec. 4, all dressed up and in great spirits as we were addressing some tough program issues. I had heard that you went through a rough spot prior to the Christmas break and then also heard things were going better. Upon my return to East Lansing after break, I got a call indicating that things had become much tougher for you and up to my visit today I kept getting more troubling reports of your health that I didn't want to believe to be true. I am sorry that your cancer has spread and that your body is not very happy with you right now. I was so wishing that other treatments would be available to you but have come to know that there are none.

When I came today, you were sleeping. For a moment, I felt tears come over me but my sadness quickly turned to comfort and joy thinking about all that you have done for me and how thankful I am that our lives have crossed paths. We have PhD work at the University of Madison in common, you were so instrumental in my decision to join this wonderful community we have here at Michigan State University, and how you mentored me through the rocky times associated with defining one's professional career. We drank wine together at many a fine School Psychology Program Holiday Parties. We drank beer together while playing darts in Deerfield Beach, FL. We had shots of JD together as you introduced me to all of your U GA colleagues at a cramped, hot, and stuffy hotel room party at a NASP conference. In sum, you are a fun-loving party girl that this Wisconsin boy certainly loves and appreciates. Most thankfully, I found in you a person who equally shared a passion for the balance that one seeks to find in their life... family, friends, career, hobbies, spirituality....

While at the house today, I also had the chance to check in with Watts to see how he and your kids are doing. They are doing as well as can be expected and they love you so much. I also got to say hello to your dogs and cat. One of the things that I really enjoyed during my visit was when Liz told me about her tattoo and the story behind the inspiration for that design. She is such a special woman and my three kids loved the times that she babysat them. I am not sure if you heard us, but Watts and his brother Earl and I had a good laugh about the time a few years back that I picked Watts up at the house and we had a couple of tequila shots and put a little flask together as we went off to see Jackass: The Movie at the Meridian Mall Theatre. Do you remember that? You were laughing at us as we were up to adolescent- no- good behavior We certainly had the giggles and do not wish to offend anyone by admitting that we joined in on the hooting and hollering surrounding many of the antics we witnessed on the big screen.

By the way, be sure to have Watts or Charles tell you about the little reminder that I dropped off at your bedside. You will recognize it, I know. It is a little yellow "Terrace" chair that symbolizes the fun and good times that we have had together and that I know you will have forever in your spirit. For those who may not be privy to the Terrace, the union at UW-Madison is a wonderful place to gather and take in the beauty of our world. It will forever remind me of you Jean, my dear friend and colleague.

For others who might want to see what this chair looks like...take a peek at http://www.union.wisc.edu/terracestore/items.aspx?cat=Gifts

I miss you Jean. May peace and love be with you....hugs and kisses. John

PS: Found this picture and while a little blurry, had to post because it's one of my favorites.

John Carlson
Jean's Colleague in the School Psychology Program at MSU